I know it’s hard to believe, but I really do not care about your real or fake sex videos with Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, or anyone else on your roster. I am not titillated by the prospects of such videos because I am not interested in women who are famous for being beautiful, or famous for being famous. (Sorry Britney Spears music fans.)

The interesting women of the world to me are so because of who they are, be it actor or musician or journalist or activist or athlete or whatever. So even if you had video of them, I still wouldn’t care. So please stop wasting my time.

Though I would like you know how you get onto my followers list over and over without ever triggering the email notification that I have a new follower.

Love, Me

Most of my best “Twitter friends” I found by checking them out after someone I was already following replied to them. Now that you’ve removed that ability, we’re all roped up inside our little circles of existing followers.

Please give us the option back. Removing an “option” is what’s confusing here — it’s an OPTION! Now you’re just disenfranchised all of us who wanted it. Nicely done.

• We’re already screwed as far as global warming is concerned.
• If you’re avoiding mercury in your autistic kids’ foods, tough luck.

I seriously loathe Januarys. It’s become my personal obsession to do so. I have never had such a urge to beat my head against the wall of late as I did this morning.

I can’t play my music loud enough for this, sometimes.

But the ‘low traction’ warning light on the dashboard has to be the most useless thing ever. When I hit an ice patch and skid, I hope I don’t need the dashboard to tell me I’m skidding. If I do, I have bigger problems than I thought.

I seriously wish I could meet the person who thought this was a good idea to have this warning light, so they could justify it to me.