Plus-Size Twittering

Hubris

Bill Mason — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 05:13:11 +0000

Yesterday, I passed by a show on the Science Channel discussing exchanging radio messages with aliens over hundreds of years. Unless, the narrator noted sadly, the aliens forgot over time to look for a new reply from us, or they destroyed themselves in warfare. I noted that the narrator never considered that maybe we could do the same.

April hail brings May…something.

Bill Mason — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 21:17:43 +0000

Let the record show it hailed at 2pm on 2 April, 2011. This is spring. Why did it do that????

Missed Opportunity

Bill Mason — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 16:38:51 +0000

You extract a promise from me before I am allowed to arise.

If I had refused to promise, would you have made me stay?

Next time, perhaps I will promise not to promise and see.

Thank you

Bill Mason — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 11:48:33 +0000

Thank you to my wife Miriam for loving me, marrying me, putting up with me at my worst, being patient waiting for my best. Or my better, anyway. And for being the best mom to two boys who I also thankful for. Thank you kids for bearing with Dad when he’s having a bad day. I love you very much, even during the times I’m incapable of showing it.

Thank you to the friends in the social media cyberspace sphere. Thank you for crossing my path in a time where the technology to cross paths exists, especially those of you on the other side of the world. Thank you for sharing your lives with me.

Thank you life, even on those days I think you’re trying to break me. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Thanks for not killing me just yet.

Thank you to all the medical people who brought my mother through her recent surgery. Enough said.

Thank you to whoever invented music so long ago, and for those practicing the art today. Sometimes the music is the only way to keep the day going.

Thanks universe for keeping me here sometimes in spite of my sleep disorder.

Just, thanks. Happy Thanksgiving.

An excerpt from “Paradise Beneath Her Feet: How Women Are Transforming the Middle East”

Bill Mason — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 20:01:37 +0000

I’m still reading this book, but I loved this anecdote of the author’s and had to preserve it.

Before leaving Tehran, I was asked to stop by the bursar’s office at the ministry where I was presented with a bill. Apparently, the authorities were charging me several hundred dollars for my minders – payable in cash only. Suddenly, I found myself uncharacteristically at a loss for words. I was not about to pay the government of Iran for keeping tabs on me, but on the other hand, I was hesitant to cause any trouble.

While I was struggling to come up with a response, Soheila [one of the "minders" - Bill] took charge. “How dare you make these demands,” she shouted, incensed. “She didn’t ask for a minder, you stuck her with it!” Wagging her finger at the bursar, then scolding the other men who came in to see what the commotion was about, she dressed down everyone in the room in a Persian tirade. Eyes flashing, she picked up the bill and with great flourish, ripped it into tiny pieces and scattered them all over the bursar’s desk. The men stood there agog for a few moments, then fell over themselves apologizing to me for any confusion. “They were mistaken,” Soheila said flatly, and that was the end of that.

Priceless.

Cooling rain

Bill Mason — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 04:37:09 +0000

When you need to cool your temper off, having it be cold and raining and breezy helps.

The brick of the front steps is cold under my bare feet. Over in the front garden, a spider comes out of the dirt, makes an arc on the patio concrete and back into the dirt again. I guess it looks like a more hospitable landscape.

I’m ready to go back inside now. As I walk in, the turtle splashes frantically hoping I’ll feed him. I can do that.

One of those Meme quiz things

Bill Mason — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 06:45:28 +0000

A recent new misdirected GMail I received was one of those meme/quiz things. Answer the questions, forward it to your friends to answer, that kind of thing. Someone is not a great friend or family member since they forwarded it to me when I don’t know them from Adam! But in the spirit of adventure, I’ll answer it:

What is your occupation right now?

Lead web developer.
What color are your socks right now?

White.
What are you listening to right now?

Whatever YouTube video that is my younger son has playing. The last thing I listened to, according to my iTunes, was “Evacuate the Dancefloor” by Cascada.
What was the last thing that you ate?

A slice of my wife’s homemade bread. The last of that loaf; only one loaf left!
Can you drive a stick shift?

Yes.
Last person you spoke to on the phone?

My wife.
Do you like the person who sent this to you?

Well, I won’t judge. I’ve never met them.
How old are you today?

43.
What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?

Ice hockey.
What is your favorite drink?

Apple juice.
Have you ever dyed your hair?

No.
Favorite food?

Dark chocolate.
What is the last movie you watched?

Temple Grandin.
Favorite day of the year?

Hard to choose.
How do you vent anger?

With difficulty in finding an appropriate way to do it.
What was your favorite toy as a child?

I don’t know if I had one. My memory for such things is poor.
What is your favorite season?

Summer, I guess. Ask me tomorrow and I might say something else.
Cherries or Blueberries?

No.
Do you want your friends to e-mail you back?

If I was emailing this to them, I suppose!
Who is the most likely to respond?

Me.
Who is least likely to respond?

Me.
Living arrangements?

Single family home.
When was the last time you cried?

Depends on teary you define as crying. When I go into a depression trough, I can be wet-eyed for no reason in a big hurry.
What is on the floor of your closet?

Shoes and stuff.
Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to?

Well, that doesn’t apply….
What did you do last night?

Dinner, water spill to clean up, sleep.
What are you most afraid of?

Heights.
Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?

Cheese is good.
Favorite dog breed?

Cat.
Favorite day of the week?

Saturday, I guess.
How many states/countries lived in?

Three states, one country.
Diamonds or pearls?

Like I can afford those.

Misdirected Things I’m Sharing With You

Bill Mason — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 04:20:55 +0000

Today in GMail we have:

A misdirected test fax. Otherwise known as a failed test!
A misdirected bag. That is, a picture of a bag someone wanted someone to see.

As you can see, things have been slow lately. But I have faith the universe will send me something else entertaining soon.

GMail Wants to Get Me Drunk

Bill Mason — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 06:58:14 +0000

GMail has two errant party invitations for me. One for a birthday bash in Washington DC and one for a hot party in the East Village (wherever that is). Someone has neglected to tell GMail I’m a tee-totaler.

And all of you party people who don’t know your e-mail address? You’re all flagged in advance. You get to be the designated drivers.

Lies Gmail Told Me Today

Bill Mason — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 00:54:35 +0000

That I installed something called PrimoPDF (never heard of it)
That I registered for Borders Rewards (I’m already a member)
That I have a profile at Ashley Madison….

…Seriously, a website for married people to find someone to have an affair with? Really?

I don’t know how I’ll top that next time, but I have faith in the universe of people who don’t know their own email address. And really, if you can’t keep track of your own email address, good luck keeping an affair a secret. I think you’re operating under a handicap.